Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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