absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
