sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize