you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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