dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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