just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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