Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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