we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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