Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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