do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
