so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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