just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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