mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
