is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
