I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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