Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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