I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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