Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
