Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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