The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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