just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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