Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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