Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
