it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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