grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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