There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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