yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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