I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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