We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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