nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
God, I missed his penis.
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