I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
