I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
