Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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