she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
they need to just BURY HIM!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
