He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
