we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
