I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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