He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
