i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
