In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You're like the curious george of whores
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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