shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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