i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
