You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
