I didn't shave. On purpose
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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