Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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