Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
