That's intense
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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