Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
