were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
