so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
