Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
