thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
