I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
