the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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