She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize