Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
