I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
