I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
