you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
