I didn't shave. On purpose
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
