There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
