Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
