remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
