I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
