I faked an abortion last night.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
